RECIPE FOR THRIVE-from my memoir process
Each survivor ultimately finds his or her own path. I do not believe there is one definitive path to wholeness. While one healing modality may work well for one, it may not resonate for another. What I do believe holds most honest/authentic is that survivors can indeed learn from the experiences from fellow survivors, especially those who have obtained a state of thrive – those who have processed the gnitty gritty of their respective hells and are living fulfilling lives. What also holds true/authentic is that we can also learn from the research that has been conducted and the wisdom of the healers that have worked with survivors of extreme trauma. A final aspect that I think may be a constant, although survivors may not be aware of it, is that once one enters the healing flow, the body/mind/spirit will naturally seek to work its way back to an integrated/balanced state. In essence, like making a dance, one can trust the process.
Like a creative performance, it all comes together in the end, and at some point, the dance seemingly makes itself with a great deal of effort on the dance makers behalf. It is as if the completed dance already exists, and ones own actions ignite the energy of change facilitating the eventual manifestation in this dimension. A human life can be seen as a dance to me, and in some dimension of time and space, the whole remade you already exists. The first step may require tossing out the whole deck you were dealt in life, and remaking the deck, or the entire game/approach to life even, but the potential is there. It is up to the individual to say yes to the process, it is up to the community to be there, to provide the safe support and offer the panoply of ideas, options, healing resources to restore the harm done.
In reflecting on my path, I came up with an outline of the key factors that supported my path – which is my process. I realized, it could be seen as a recipe for thrive, which I would like to share the gyst of, and leave fleshing this out for a journal article, or another book perhaps. May it add to the other stories of other survivors enjoy the land of thrive.
* Commit to the Journey, Let Go, Enjoy that the Support You Need Manifests
*Do not allow the image of victim or survivor becomes your primary sense of self, ego
*Identity, quest for deeper meaning and purpose in your life and let that become your source of "ego" strength.
*Hang out with functional people who are living a life doing what they love to do. These may or may not be people who are interested in what you love to do. Have an active social life and, if at all possible, an active work life.
*Quest for information and understanding while trusting your instinct/gut/intuition.
*Choose whatever healing modalities resonate with you most. Let your intuition be your guide and seek out information where your heart leads.
*Ground into your healing journey and seek support when you need it from other thrivers and survivors.
*Celebrate your small successes and your big successes.
*Make time for being in nature, rest, and beauty.
* When you feel as if you are nearly there – chunk out your memoir.